Self Proclaimed Klutz

Oh my goodness, I leave Blogger for a week and there are all these changes. I was just starting to get used to the layout that was present before the changed it to this. Oh well, at least it will be interesting.
Why you ask have I not written in a week, well first of all, absolutely nothing has happened to me lately, all I've done is work, and slept. That's about it, I have a really mundane life. Another reason I haven't been writing lately is because every time I sit down at the computer and think about writing something, it almost feels like a chore. I really don't want my self to see this blog as a chore, more of a reflection of my life and feelings, and lately I haven't been in a writing mood. It may have to do with all the papers and stuff I had to write for school, my brain just started to collapse in on itself. But fear not, I am back now and looking forward to writing about the happenings to me. There should be more happenings soon, seeing as I will be 19, legal age here, so there will be many drunken and fun stories to tell, most probably involving me falling over somewhere or somehow.
I know this is late, mothers day being last week, but I really do love my mom. And I know everyone says it, but my mom is the best. Are yard looks awesome. My mother has the biggest green thumb ever, I on the other hand have a black thumb, even though I do like to muck about in the garden. My mom can take a plant that is near death, most likely my doing, and bring it back to life like nothing had ever happened. Yeah, my mom is that good. Our garden is always filled with flowers and neat little things. Even last summer, when my mom had just gotten out of the hospital in April, she still managed to do as much as she could. I like to think that our yard is her sanction. For those few hours a day, she is able to produce life and make it flourish. She can escape the fact that she may not see my brothers graduation, or ever see my wedding, and I know that she thinks and frets about these things all the time. My mother has Colon cancer, and it is with her every step of every day, and this garden is what helps her forget. She saw the Doctor a little while ago, and apparently the cancer has spread to her liver, which is not a good sign, even though the doctors refuse to say that. They actually think that her liver was the starting place of the cancer, and that it actually spread to her colon after. Nevertheless, it seems that she will have to have cemo therapy sometime soon, and I know that my mom thinks about it all the time. She questions whether or not she should have it, and I have heard her say, on one or more occasions that she would rather die peacefully that suffer cemo. Now I won't lie,, that thought scares the crap out of me. I don't want my mom to die, nobody does. Even now it makes me tear up thinking about the possibility of her not being here for me. We have never been that close to start off with, my mother always believe that she would be a parent now and a friend later, but now I'm afraid that she wont be there to ever be my friend. So mom, if you ever read this, which is not likely, because you are computer illiterate, just know that I love you, and never ever want you to give up hope. Keep fighting, like I know you can.
Just to keep with the depressing mood, I still haven't heard from Uppsala, and now I have pretty much given up all hope of going, which deep down is actually all right. I know this may sound like I'm trying to convince myself that I am okay with it, but I really am. I'm more sure of myself now, I like my job, I like the people I work with, I'm actually looking forward to going back to ANY school next year, I just want to learn. Come fall, if I am still here, I may or may not move out, we shall see. But now I'm just waiting to see where the chips fall.
Speaking of learning, I went to the library today. In Duncan, the renovated the old library, so now it looks really neat and futuristic. So after not having been to the library I decided on a whim to go. I get there, and all of a sudden realize that after four years of not being to the library, my card either doesn't work anymore, or I have a huge $200.00 fine. I decided to take my chances and talk to the lady at the counter. She checked my card, there was some apprehension. She then promptly informed me that my total fine, after something like 3 and a half years was...dun dun dun...wait for it....Forty cents. Yeah, forty stinking cents. I have no idea how in the world that happened, but I just went with it and paid it, not even wanting to question why it was so little. I am just going to be grateful to the gods that it was not a large sum. Now when I go to a library, any library, I generally have a rule that I can not take out any more books than I can carry. Now tonight I stuck with that rule. I only took out like 7 books, most of them hardcover. What can I say, I'm and innovative stacker. Now, this is not even the strange part. The strange part, and part that makes me look like the biggest geek ever, is the fact that all of my books are either history or literature books. The books I signed out include 3 different books on the legend of King Arthur, one on a medieval queen, two Shakespeare plays that I have always wanted to read (The Tempest and Twelfth Night), and last but not least a novel by Margaret Atwood that I had read a while ago, but really enjoyed. What can I say, I like to learn.
I finally got around to booking my road test so I can get my "real" license. I question whether or not I am going to pass or not. Don't get me wrong, I am a good driver, I just don't do everything up to ICBC standards. I still can not reverse stall or parallel park, and there are so many things that I don't bother to do, but know that I will need to in order to pass my test. I will have to do some major practicing this week on the days that I am not working.
Well I think that's it for now, I have to work tomorrow afternoon, and will post probably Saturday sometime, maybe before I go to see Troy.